The World Is a Cold Place
For those of you who are not on the east coast of the US, winter has just begun and the reactions have so far been mixed. Everyone is bundling up and complaining about the bitter chill but expressing some relief that things are back to normal.
I once walked home from middle school wondering why my nuts were freezing only to discover that my fly had been open all the way home. I do not know how that relates but lets pretend it does.
I was watching "an inconvenient truth" by al gore a few days ago and was confronted with the dangers of living our current existence, which if left unchecked will move most of Greenland to New York harbor in the form of liquid water. In other news, Allstate Insurance has decided that they will no longer insure homes in the east Bronx as a result of hurricane risks. Perhaps they saw the movie as well. Maybe we just need to complain about the weather.
If the most powerful icebreaker of everyday conversation leaves us temporarily happy, then we are confronted with the need to blame our shitty moods on other things than the wind and rain. Ourselves perhaps? Would we really be happier in southern California? Or Bangalore for that matter? Do we really want mild climate and sun for most of the year? I for one grew up with my head in the boiler and my feet in the icebox.
I bet now is a wonderful time to buy property in Kansas. How about Mongolia? Apparently the jet stream can be shut down. All it needs is for enough ice to melt and cool down the north Atlantic and we'll all be living along the equators again. But only for a few hundred years - not a real ice age. That movie was retarded by the way. The first one begins when everything starts to freeze and in the sequel everything starts melting down? What kind of lame excuse for an ice age is this? Unless of course those creatures lived for thousands of years. If that's the case then it's the best movie since Groundhog Day. I wonder if inundation would lead to a reduction in crime in the Bronx. Is this a sign that we have been delaying space colonization for too long? I doubt it. Not enough third world countries with millions of starving children have sent up space probes for that to be plausible. But then again the space program gave us tang and Velcro. Yum and fun.
The Chinese have exploded their own satellite and the Americans are very worried. Word on the street is that the Chinese and the Russians have been trying to sign a weapons test ban treaty for years now and that the United States is unwilling to relinquish its "right" to blow things up in space. China appears to be exercising their right at the moment. The next step would be the match the American capacity to destroy orbiting satellites with ground-based lasers.
People who do not believe in global warming are often the people who do not believe in evolution. While speaking with family relation, who happens to hold a Master of Science in Zoology, I was informed that by the standards of evolution, the Amoeba is a more advanced species than a human. If the ability to stay alive – self-preservation, immortality for some, is the point of existence for a species, then our microorganism friends are much better at it than we sentient mammals are. After conceding that the Amoeba was a superior being to a human, I could not help but sit back in amazement at this zoologist challenge evolution – not to mention the Western conspiracy of global warming as a plot to keep the underdeveloped countries of the world…underdeveloped.
According to the New York Times, every year, about 80 cubic miles of Arctic ice melts into the Sea. At this rate, the global sea level will rise by one foot in about two centuries. But this rate is almost certain to increase. For one thing, the amount of CO2 put into the atmosphere will only increase as India and China race to get their share of the petroleum pie. Americans will never learn to drive reasonable vehicles. But even more important is the fact that water absorbs more heat than ice. Ice is white and therefore reflects most of the sunlight. A frozen Arctic bounces these rays back into space. A melted Arctic is mostly blue and sometimes black – no chance to reflect. All the suns rays are absorbed and accelerate the melting of the Arctic ice.
Don’t even get me started on El Niño
I hope the yang of this winter's ying will be a nice July blizzard. Surf’s up cowboy!
I once walked home from middle school wondering why my nuts were freezing only to discover that my fly had been open all the way home. I do not know how that relates but lets pretend it does.
I was watching "an inconvenient truth" by al gore a few days ago and was confronted with the dangers of living our current existence, which if left unchecked will move most of Greenland to New York harbor in the form of liquid water. In other news, Allstate Insurance has decided that they will no longer insure homes in the east Bronx as a result of hurricane risks. Perhaps they saw the movie as well. Maybe we just need to complain about the weather.
If the most powerful icebreaker of everyday conversation leaves us temporarily happy, then we are confronted with the need to blame our shitty moods on other things than the wind and rain. Ourselves perhaps? Would we really be happier in southern California? Or Bangalore for that matter? Do we really want mild climate and sun for most of the year? I for one grew up with my head in the boiler and my feet in the icebox.
I bet now is a wonderful time to buy property in Kansas. How about Mongolia? Apparently the jet stream can be shut down. All it needs is for enough ice to melt and cool down the north Atlantic and we'll all be living along the equators again. But only for a few hundred years - not a real ice age. That movie was retarded by the way. The first one begins when everything starts to freeze and in the sequel everything starts melting down? What kind of lame excuse for an ice age is this? Unless of course those creatures lived for thousands of years. If that's the case then it's the best movie since Groundhog Day. I wonder if inundation would lead to a reduction in crime in the Bronx. Is this a sign that we have been delaying space colonization for too long? I doubt it. Not enough third world countries with millions of starving children have sent up space probes for that to be plausible. But then again the space program gave us tang and Velcro. Yum and fun.
The Chinese have exploded their own satellite and the Americans are very worried. Word on the street is that the Chinese and the Russians have been trying to sign a weapons test ban treaty for years now and that the United States is unwilling to relinquish its "right" to blow things up in space. China appears to be exercising their right at the moment. The next step would be the match the American capacity to destroy orbiting satellites with ground-based lasers.
People who do not believe in global warming are often the people who do not believe in evolution. While speaking with family relation, who happens to hold a Master of Science in Zoology, I was informed that by the standards of evolution, the Amoeba is a more advanced species than a human. If the ability to stay alive – self-preservation, immortality for some, is the point of existence for a species, then our microorganism friends are much better at it than we sentient mammals are. After conceding that the Amoeba was a superior being to a human, I could not help but sit back in amazement at this zoologist challenge evolution – not to mention the Western conspiracy of global warming as a plot to keep the underdeveloped countries of the world…underdeveloped.
According to the New York Times, every year, about 80 cubic miles of Arctic ice melts into the Sea. At this rate, the global sea level will rise by one foot in about two centuries. But this rate is almost certain to increase. For one thing, the amount of CO2 put into the atmosphere will only increase as India and China race to get their share of the petroleum pie. Americans will never learn to drive reasonable vehicles. But even more important is the fact that water absorbs more heat than ice. Ice is white and therefore reflects most of the sunlight. A frozen Arctic bounces these rays back into space. A melted Arctic is mostly blue and sometimes black – no chance to reflect. All the suns rays are absorbed and accelerate the melting of the Arctic ice.
Don’t even get me started on El Niño
I hope the yang of this winter's ying will be a nice July blizzard. Surf’s up cowboy!
posted by mrcyriac at 9:51 AM
1 Comments:
Where the hell do you get the time to read up so much on global warming?? however the piece by itself is quite hillarious, especially the part about the "yum and fun"..also the facts that you throw in the readers face from time to time comes in handy...i shudder at the thought that the global sea level will rise by what... a foot over the next 200 years!!! what can i say mr cyriac but that we need to get off our asses and do something about the environment!! come, be a part of The Commons and ensure your role in the movement that strives to make the world a slightly less cold place to live in!!
Post a Comment
<< Home